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18. April 2020

Momma Mogg: Tidy up … NOW!

by

Maximilian Mogg

“You will get nothing new until you’ve tidied up!”, bellows Momma Mogg. Obviously, as a grown man, I’m not just going to immediately do what she says. I’m going to wait at least three minutes before I do it. In fact, (and don’t let her know I told you this) she has a point.

Don’t get me wrong. A certain amount of disorder can be a good thing. People whom strive for too much order always set alarm bells ringing in my head. Awareness of our basic lack of control is one of the things that make us all human. As such, I advise you to not go overboard. Moderation in almost all things is key.

Nothing is more stressful than finding where to start. First tip: expect to invest one day of your time and don’t stop until you are done. If you stop halfway through, you will never finish.

Second tip: Decide what you want to keep and what you want to get rid of. Hopefully, you will have planned out your wardrobe ahead of time and won’t have too many items you want to get rid of. Separate the keeps from the get rids. Things you want to be rid of should be split into three categories.

  1. Things that cannot be recycled or repaired. Think the underwear your mother got you for Christmas in 1996. Throw these away.
  2. Things that do not fit anymore and will never fit you again. Think your sports clothing from when you used to work out more than once a year. Clean them and gift them to friends or donate them to charity.
  3. Things you haven’t worn in years and suspect you will never wear again (don’t be sentimental). Think the leather chaps you wore when you thought you might be a homosexual in college. Just me? Okay. Never mind, then. Either give them away or sell them. eBay is a great marketplace.

Now, survey what is left. This is your new wardrobe. While it might seem small, it’s not the size of the boat that matters, it’s about how it floats. At least, that’s what your mother tells me (boom! Got both of us with that one).

Congratulations, you’ve gotten past the worst part and now the fun stuff can begin. Start by designating a drawer for socks and a drawer for underwear. T-shirts should be folded and stacked by colour. Shirts should be put on hangers and also organised by colour. Coats, suits, and jackets should be put on appropriate hangers and organised by length and by colour. Never change this order again. Whenever you take something off, put it right back in its spot. I promise you that it will be immensely satisfying, especially if you have matching hangers. Where to buy high quality hangers? I don’t actually know. Mine are all cherry wood with a gold embossed logo. Where did I get them…? Oh, I remember now. From a small tailoring shop called Maximilian Mogg. You’ve heard of them? What a coincidence!

Final step: Take advantage of your new-found order to help you plan the rest of your wardrobe. It will never be easier to determine what you’re missing or what you might need to replace.

Now that you’ve you’ve cleaned up your wardrobe, treat yourself to a cocktail or seven to celebrate. Momma Mogg is proud of you.

NB. Never throw away a high-quality, handmade necktie. You can never have too many and they can easily be refurbished. MM/DC